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Aimee Selah

Kaleidoscope—Life-Light blazing through brokenness

Published almost 2 years ago • 8 min read

HelloReader. I hope this love letter finds you awake, aware, and alive to the Light of the world. But if today, the world is serving you brokenness and darkness, may you find in these words a glimmer of the Light the darkness couldn’t extinguish. May you hear the invitation of the Life-Light that calls you to wake up to the Hope that knows no bounds and the Peace that transcends all understanding.

Poetry Garden Podcast

Connect to Soundcloud and listen to the audible version of this love letter.


Life-Light blazing through brokenness

Everything was created through him; nothing—not one thing!— came into being without him. What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn’t put it out. John 1:4-5 The Message

This world is sometimes a dark and lonely place. And yet, it is in the dark that the flame blazes brightest. In our darkest hour, we look to the Life [that] was Light to live by. The Life-Light the darkness couldn’t put it out.

Walk with me today as we explore the story of the daughter of Jairus, chronicled by Mark in chapter five. As he brings Jesus to heal his daughter, Jairus is met by messengers. The girl has died, they say. Don’t bother the Master anymore. Jesus says, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” When he arrives at the home of Jairus, Jesus says, the girl’s not dead, but asleep. The mourners mock Jesus, so he chases away the doubters. And in the stillness, Jesus speaks Peace and calls the girl to rise…

He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” ). Mark 5:41 New International Version

Imagine with me what this girl may have experienced in her encounter with the Life-Light:

A deep so dark it crushes from all sides, squeezing the remaining bits of oxygen, of life—a slow seeping, sweeping away body, mind, heart…
Yet something remains. A sliver tenaciously holding on, unwilling to let go. Not quite yet. The still small voice quivers within. Still with life. Still and capacious.
A breath of movement as soft as the breath of a loved one brushes her cheek. Her heartbeat remains poised halfway through a contraction, as though waiting for the signal to complete the beat.
thrown down, but not yet broken…
Waiting for a presence as sure and as beautiful as dawn. A tremor shivers through her—a wild wind sweeps through her despair. A battle swirls around her. The darkness fights to keep hold of its grasp, yet its grip slips a bit, and her heart expands, as though taking breath before a dive.
A Voice, not still, not small, hovers over her and speaks, splintering the darkness with golden cracks. Her heart contracts and expands. Contracts and expands.
The Voice, a thunder, widens the cracks. Her heart thumps a resounding response.
A face emerges through the light as darkness falls away in jagged pieces.
A face too beautiful to behold—like the sun shining in all its brilliance—smiling upon her, reassuring her.
The Voice, musical as the sound of rushing waters, speaks, Peace. The Voice, saturated with Love, speaks of Peace, transcending all understanding.
Talitha koum. Rise, child.
A hand reaches for her, waiting for her to take up the invitation. Rise, child, and come away with me. Wake up, out of the darkness, and you will see Grace in action. Love in motion. Awake, aware, alive to Hope that knows no bounds. To Joy that does not depend on the circumstances of the world. I give you Peace, my Peace, I leave you. I do not give as the world gives.
Believe. Come away with me. Do not be afraid.
The rough, callused hands wrap around hers with the strength of one who is no stranger to work. With the tenderness of one whose Love heals broken hearts.
She opens her eyes and sits up on the bed. A noisy family whirlwind bustles around her, touching her, kissing her, crying and laughing and praising God all around her, but remaining in her periphery. She has eyes only for the One holding her hands.
She loosens her arms from her parents’ embrace and places her hands on each side of his face. His beard tickles her palms. One long moment, she stares into his face to etch the memory into the deep folds of her mind. Before she removes her hands, he winks at her, and the Voice, speaking with the sparkle in His eyes, promises, Surely, I am with you, always. To the end of time.

Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Ephesians 5:14 NIV

Thrown down, but not broken, Paul encourages us in 2 Corinthians chapter 4, and in Ephesians, chapter 5, he spurs us with the words: Wake up sleeper. Rise from the dead. Christ will shine on you.

The Life-Light shines on each of us. Lives in each of us.

The crushing weight of disappointment and loss can bury us in a deep pit of despair. We fall into darkness, into a bitter winter landscape bereft of peace, of joy, of hope where only doubt remains, feeling as if God is a million miles away. And yet, even if we don’t have the eyes to see, He is as close as the breath of a loved one on our cheek. Indeed, He is as close as the air we breathe.

The hustle and bustle of living, growing, toiling takes its toll. And in some seasons, darkness rules our world. Dark, because we’ve closed our eyes to the Life-Light, to Hope. So we rest. We rest, and we wait.

We wait. And the ripple of Love breathes over our darkness with the invitation, Wake up, sleeper! The Life-Light calls us to rise again. Talitha koum. Rise child. Wake up to the Peace that transcends all understanding.

In the indigo stillness of heart-breaking days, when mind and body and heart have paused, too weary to move forward, the soul remains poised and waiting for the call. Waiting for the promise of Grace in action. Love in motion.

Waiting for the Life-Light to waken us to the Hope that knows no bounds. Light that the darkness couldn’t put out will shine through us and into the dark and lonely places of the world.

The Life-Light shines through each of us. I give you Peace, He promises. Believe! Come away with me and do not be afraid to let your beauty shine through the brokenness, shining into a world sorely in need of Love.


Poetry Garden

The world serves us brokenness, and yet beauty surrounds us too. In stillness, when all the crazy-kaleidoscope pieces have settled, a beautiful pattern forms. And when we hold the kaleidoscope to the light, its gorgeousness shines. For as long as we hold still, we can relish the beauty. But the world is not made for stillness. So we shake and tumble, toil and fumble, and the broken pieces slip in a jumble until we are able to find stillness again and allow the Life-Light to blaze through our brokenness to reveal the hearty gorgeousness we were created to be.

Kaleidoscope
shattered shards crack
chaos clutters
broken pieces tumbling, stumbling fingers
fumbling, intentions jumbling
broken
pieces slide and crunch, land with a punch to the tender
core of her being.
Toil, roil, and waver, gathering into a mountain of shattered
shards, she teeters
on the edge, tumbling again. The storm
spins more worries. Slivers of
sins gather jagged
edges pricking fingertips, slicing fresh scar tissue,
bleeding.
Spin and labor, she gathers the slivers to piece
together into some sense, to piece together
as they were before the storm.
The world serves
brokenness.
And yet, she strives to create one piece of
beauty
to hold without creating fresh scars.
Colors whirl and beauty blurs—
dancing rose
trembling in a breeze
releasing
//
red velvet
a petal tumbling
floats away
//
and another and another and another
//
whirling and tumbling
stumbling and jumbling
until the dance is exhausted
and she returns to earth.
The dance is exhausted
and she returns to a sacred stillness.
In the holy hush
dawn peaks over the horizon
shimmers off the jagged slivered edges, shimmers
golden in trembling teardrop pool.
Pieces tumble together, brokenness
settles into an intricate pattern. Life-
Light
shines through the shattered slivers
creating a stained-glass window
beauty—
an exquisite mosaic—the true self. A sweet, sacred glimpse
the masterpiece, the
poem
she was created to
be.


Breathing Practice

Belly breathing

Rub your hands together. Warming them, then place them on your belly. As you breathe in, draw your breath in, directing it toward your belly. Feel your belly, soft and movable, expand. Follow the trail of your deep breaths, in through the nose, down the windpipe, and into your belly. Pull your shoulders down, lift your sternum, lift your chin slightly, and open space for your voice.

Imagine, if you can, light filling your abdomen. This area of our body receives all kinds of interesting attention, always trying to make it more presentable. Show some love to this area that does so much for you. Breathing in, feel it expand. Hold your breath (if it’s safe for you) for a few counts, then feel the breath leave your belly, travel up through your body and tumble back out into the world.

So much of our emotion is held in our belly and our chest. We clench. Emotions burn. On the days that leave us feeling lonely and unfulfilled, we try to stuff ourselves with all kinds of things, including some things that aren’t good for us. So today, let’s practice letting go that which weighs us down. Let’s practice making room for the Life-Light to fill our core with the peace that transcends all understanding.

Breathe deep and follow the breath with your mind’s eye, filling your belly—swirling and swishing, moving and lifting the things that weigh you down.

Then let the air whoosh out of your mouth with a shhh sound. Empty, empty, empty until you feel your diaphragm fold up under your lungs in an umbrella shape. Think… letting go, letting go.

Don’t focus on the bits and parts. Just be with this moment. Imagine a dusty swirl of debris escaping and leaving space. Then on your next inhalation, pull in Life-Light to fill the liberated space.

Continue for as long as you have time. Practice many times throughout the day. One minute here, one minute there, chasing away that which no longer serves you and breathing in your Life-Light vitamins.

Remember, this is practice. Don’t worry about perfection. And if at any time, this practice causes you pain or dizziness, stop and take care of yourself. If the practice doesn’t work, adapt it to your needs or leave it. Always do what feels right in your body. Always compassion.


Bloom to Share

This is the full bloom of the rose I shared in the previous letter I sent your way (the one with only three unfurled petals). I hope you'll forgive me if I quote myself today. I believe this message is so hard to fully appreciate. Let's encourage each other; on a regular basis remind each other until the words sink in and we believe whole-heartedly:


Worry-wrought nights can sometimes be so oppressive we fall into darkness. We settle into a wintering. A sleep.

And in His perfect timing, the Life-Light will call to us. He will clothe us with dignity and Grace and hold out His hand. Remember the invitation: Wake up, sleeper! Rise from the darkness.

Remember the promise: the Life-Light shines on you. Lives in you. The Life-Light will shine through you, and you will be awake, to the Hope that knows no bounds. Aware of the Joy that does not depend on the circumstances of this world. Alive to the Peace that transcends all understanding. Grace in action. Love in motion

Christ, the Light that the darkness couldn’t put out, will shine through you in a hearty gorgeousness God wants you to share with the world. Wake up sleeper! You are a poem, God’s Love song, to shine into the dark and lonely places of this broken world.


I’ve woven some words of my favorite Bible passages into this love letter. If you'd like to dig deeper, read: 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 MSG; Hosea 6:3; Revelations 1; John 14:27; Matthew 28:20.

Until next time...

Aimee Selah

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